I was sitting outside, enjoying coffee and chill time. Kids nearby were collecting acorns off the ground and putting them in plastic buckets, one by one. One of the kids was singing.
His stream-of-consciousness diddy extolled the virtues of those acorns. Serenading them as he gathered them.
You think that kid was anywhere but 100% in his now, living and loving every second of it?
The kid was a total Zen master! That’s where I want to be, too. As much of the time as I can possibly allow myself to be. And it’s exactly where I encourage you to be, as much of the time as you can possibly allow yourself as well.
Be in the now, at peace and appreciating every bit of it.
But what if your “now” isn’t where you want it to be?
I don’t care, WHY you are where you are. Don’t you see, how that doesn’t matter? Because that was then. You have no power in the “then.” Your power is in the now.
If the story you tell over and over and over–to yourself and anyone who slows down long enough within your broadcast range–continues to justify why you are NOT where you want to be, you see how that’s only keeping you where you don’t want to be? You see how, in each retelling of the same story, you’re travelling a well-worn groove?
“It’s impossible for me. It’s hard for me. What I try never works. This is hard, this is hard, this is hard.”
Is that the drum you really want to be beating? Because it is akin to toting around your own stumbling blocks and tossing those beat up, tired excuses underfoot, to trip over again and again and again.
Doesn’t matter why you haven’t gotten there yet. Only how you can, starting now.
You don’t owe anyone justification–including yourself! Justification slows you down and keeps perpetuating thought loops about why you can’t do what you are saying you want to do.
But there’s a bigger reason why you don’t have to explain: you’re already worthy, already good enough, just as you are. Right this very minute.
“I am where I am, and that’s fine.”
Because you know what? It IS. It is fine, right here, right now. You are fine, right here, right now. Where you’ve been is what’s led you to now. That is the gift of the past–it brings you here.
Worthiness is not a destination achieved at goal weight. Your worth as a human being does not correspond with the content of your refrigerator. There is no correlation between your character and your pants size. None. Nada. Zilcherino.
Doesn’t that feel better?
Can it get better? Sure! I want it get better, for you and for me. And I will tell you straight up: the easiest and most direct route to that pleasant progress is making peace with your now.
Then, you’re not trying to climb over every obstacle you’ve ever had! Then, you’re not creating new obstacles by bemoaning how hard it all has been and worse, how hard it’s going to continue to be.
At peace with your now, you’re not worried about what anyone thinks of you or whether or not you are “deserving” based on past experience. It’s not an uphill climb to make good decisions when you’re at peace, because you’re not lining up with the energy of struggle.
Making peace with your now does not doom you to stay stuck. In fact, making peace with your now is pretty much the only way you’re ever able to move forward.
So, let’s say you are looking to shift a little here. And let’s say, you decide the past doesn’t matter so much, because it’s done. And let’s say you decide to start focusing and appreciating more, in your now. Because isn’t everything we want, on some level, because we believe we’ll feel better when we have it?
So if you want to line up with where you’re GOING instead of where you’ve been, you’re gonna need to line up with feeling better. The goal is to feel better, right here, right now. You’re gonna need to line up with looking at what you can have and feel good about. When you feel better, everything is clearer and easier. So we’re looking to make this journey as pleasant and easy and FUN as you can.
Honestly, I would say that what a person is doing in any given moment weight-wise–eating or exercising or whatever–matters far less than what the person is thinking. Because thoughts lead to feelings and feelings lead to where the energy flows and where your focus is, which dictates how things go for you, long term.
In other words, I’d rather you eat a damn cookie and enjoy it and then move on, than hate yourself for eating the cookie or hate yourself for wanting the cookie or hate yourself for not being able to eat the cookie or whatever. The “hating yourself” part does a lot more harm than the cookie ever could! Eat the cookie or don’t. It’s a single choice and in the long term, it will have negligible impact. But whatever you do with the %*%&# cookie, feel good about it! Because that does have an impact on your thoughts and feelings and therefore, choices going forward.
A moment in time is just that. But habitual thoughts are like hitting the “replay” button on your life, effectively driving your future by overtaking your focus.
So what if you’re feeling a little blue and you feel stuck in unhappy thoughts? It’s harder to do well under those circumstances, so shift it up. Go more general. Specifics turn up focus, where generalities soften focus. So go a little more general in your internal dialogue and reach for the best feeling thoughts you have access to in order to lift your mood. The goal here is relief!
If you hear yourself listing out your perceived shortcomings in your head one by one, it’s not going to go straight to “I’m awesome!” in one fell swoop. But it can go to, “Well, sometimes, I make decisions I don’t feel good about later. Not always. Sometimes…” See how that brings relief? “And a lot of the time, I make decisions that work out well for me. In fact, that’s most of the time.” More relief. “I realize I’m not feeling good now, so that’s helpful information about what doesn’t feel good. Next time, I can make a decision that feels better.” See how it works?
Be your own cheerleader and mean it!
There is not a person on the planet who lost weight (or did anything worthwhile, really) by beating up on themselves, long term. There could be some self-criticism as a wake-up-call to get your attention, sure. But if you stay rooted in the thoughts and therefore the feelings of the “old you” (of which, self-criticism is likely a significant player), well, that’s where your future lies, every single time.
So do what’s easiest to start. Give yourself more than a break–give yourself a complete pass on the past. The past is so OLD NEWS. Whatever has happened up until now and however it’s happened, it’s led you to the place you are right here, in the glorious and powerful now. The now is the only place you have any power whatsoever. You can’t get it wrong. It’s your life! As long as you’re still here and kicking, you can keep going.
And that keep going thing? That’s the secret to success. Just keep moving forward into your future.
And maybe serenade some acorns. Or at least appreciate them.
Appreciation of your blessings, your surroundings, your life and your body will not only help you make peace with your now–it will enhance every good part of your life and turn it up. And isn’t that why you’re looking at doing anything anyway?
Be here, now, friends. At peace with your now. It will help, I promise. ♥